Genius Billionaire Playboy Philanthropist
by mercy-angel-09
Summary: What's cooler than being cool? Finding out that your best friend is like Tony Stark. Without the alcohol problem. Or the arc reactor life support system. He does have that hoard of fangirls though. Also, Nino asks the hard questions. Follow up to "Spilling Secrets." [X-posted on AO3.]


**Pure and unadulterated friendship fluff my friends. You may want to consider brushing and flossing when you're done. By far the tamest entry, save for some mild swearing. I find your lack of sin disturbing...**

 **Also, Nino's kind of a dork in this.**

 **And yes, that's a blatant _Avengers_ nod for a title.**

* * *

Nino walks into Adrien's bedroom, arms loaded with books on World War II in the Pacific theater. This damned history project has been sucking up all of his – and Adrien's – free time. Time when Nino could be in clubs playing his mixes. To be fair, he's going to university to get a business degree so that he can open his own club one day, but all of the work that goes with it is seriously cutting into his hands on experience.

Adrien's been a little hard to pin down as of late and Nino chalks it up to the fact that his friend has finally given up his crush on Ladybug to date someone attainable. Nino's known Marinette for years and he thinks the aspiring designer is a good fit for his friend. She's passionate and loyal and fair, and her interest in fashion means that Adrien can ramble about his father's work and Marinette's eyes won't glaze over out of boredom. It also doesn't hurt that Adrien seems more settled now that he and Marinette are dating.

This is all well and good, and Nino's certain that he and Adrien can finish their project today, except it seems that his project partner is a little preoccupied by making out with Ladybug.

Wait.

HOLY HELL.

The books drop to the floor with a rather impressive thud, and Adrien and Ladybug spring apart. Nino gapes at them, trying to process what it was that he saw. Neither Adrien nor Ladybug looks ashamed. They definitely look embarrassed, but not ashamed.

"What in the ever loving hell am I looking at?" Nino asks because he's not entirely sure. Last time he checked Adrien was happy to be dating Marinette and Ladybug and Chat Noir are totally an item.

"Nino, I can explain," Adrien says as he steps towards his friend.

"Explain what?" Nino splutters. "Why you're sucking face with your high school crush? Adrien, you're my bro, but I've known Marinette since pre-school and frankly my loyalty lies with her."

"And that's a very good thing to know going forward," Adrien says with a grimace. Next to him, Ladybug smirks.

"I can't believe you would do something like this," Nino continues, winding himself up for a rant. "I get that you're the face of your dad's label and I know that you've got fans and can pretty much date any girl you want, but dude! Did it ever occur to you that Chat Noir can probably kick your ass? And that's not even getting into the fact that Marinette, sweet and kind and _so much better than you_ Marinette, has done nothing to deserve this! You always seemed so above crap like this!"

"Nino, I know you're upset but really, I can explain." He lets out a small grunt when Ladybug's elbow collides with his chest. "We can explain. But first, I need you to calm down and take a deep breath."

"Explain what?" Nino blurts. "What is there to possibly explain?"

Adrien sighs. "Just…watch, okay?"

This must be a dream, because Nino thinks that there's no way that he's watching his best friend transform into Chat Noir. And yet when he pinches his arm it definitely hurts.

"Bro!"

Chat Noir holds up his hands and makes a shushing gesture. "Hey, keep it down! None of the staff knows and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Right, yeah, of course," Nino says with a grin because this is freaking _awesome._ His best friend is one of Paris' superheroes.

There's something more, niggling at the back of his brain. If Adrien is Chat Noir, and Chat Noir is dating Ladybug, and Adrien is dating Marinette…somehow one plus one equals fish. Logic dictates that if A=B, and B=C, then A=C but Nino's not quite sure what values to assign A, B, and C.

"I think his brain short circuited," Ladybug says with a sigh.

"Give it a minute. You know how Nino is," Chat answers.

"HOLY CRAP!" Nino exclaims, pointing at Ladybug. "Marinette?!"

"There he goes," Chat says with a grin.

"Yes, Nino," Ladybug says with a small smile.

His mouth is opening and closing, but only incomprehensible squeaking noises are coming out. Finally he blurts, "Oh my God Alya's going to kill you."

Chat Noir and Ladybug exchange a look and then shrug.

"We told Alya a few weeks ago," Ladybug says. Then she frowns. "Or rather we were kind of forced to tell her."

"How?" Nino asks.

"That's not important," Chat Noir blurts out. He releases his transformation and motions for Nino to sit on the sofa. "The point is that people have been finding out. And…well…maybe it's time the people closest to us know."

"Dude, this is so great," Nino says with a laugh. "You're like Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark."

Ladybug snorts. "That's my cue to get out of here. I'll talk to you later, Adrien."

"Later, bugaboo!" he says with a wave, and he snickers when she rolls her eyes and leaps out the window.

"Seriously, this is so cool. You're a real life superhero!" Nino is squealing like a teenaged girl at a Jagged Stone concert.

"But I'm not Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark," Adrien points out.

"Oh come on, you totally fit the mold. Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist."

Adrien looks insulted. "I am not."

"Please, you're brilliant, richer than God, all the girls want you, and you're really big into the charity work," Nino says with a dismissive wave.

"Boy do you have it wrong," Adrien says, visibly bristling at Nino's insinuations. He holds up a finger, and keeps raising them as he ticks off his points. "One, my grades are fine, but I'm not a genius. I do well in the classes I actually care about, but the ones where I don't give a damn are mediocre at best. Two, my father is only worth millions, and I'm pretty sure I'll never actually see a single Euro of it. Three, yes, I have fangirls but the only girl I care about is Marinette – I would never mess around on her. And finally, okay, yes, I like doing the charity work. It makes me feel good to know I'm making a difference for someone. Not a genius, not a billionaire, not a playboy, but I graciously accept the title of philanthropist."

Nino rolls his eyes. "Lame."

"I also feel the need to mention that my girlfriend can and will kick my ass if she thinks I'm so much as putting a toe out of line. Like you're not scared of Alya." Adrien smirks as his friend cringes. The Ladyblogger is obviously the dominate personality in their relationship. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Nino lets out a huff and glares at his friend. "Well, would you have told me if I hadn't walked in on your trying to eat Ladybug's face?"

"I wasn't trying to eat her face!" Adrien retorts hotly. Sure, they were into that kiss, but not that into it!

"You totally were," Nino responds with a droll look.

"Eventually, yeah," Adrien says, ignoring the look on his friend's face. "This just…bumped up the time table."

"So…now what?" Nino asks.

"We work on this project," Adrien answers, giving his friend a duh stare. It's why Nino is there in the first place.

"I do have one more question, though," Nino says.

Adrien grimaces, imagining all of the asinine things that Nino could possibly ask about. "And that would be…?"

"How do you use the bathroom in that suit? Is there a special zipper or something? Or magic…?"

"Okay, who wants to talk about the Battle of Iwo Jima? I think that sounds fascinating!" Adrien loudly declares, cutting off his friend's rather ridiculous line of questioning. On second thought, maybe it would have been better if Nino never found out in the first place.

* * *

 **I meant it when I said that Nino asks the hard questions.**

 **In other news, the smutty follow up to "That Thing You Do" and "Doing That Thing You Do" is still in progress. Unfortunately, I recently started a new medication and apparently one of the adjustment period side effects is a rather annoying lack of energy. It makes even typing difficult. Yay, chronic illness. I'm hoping that I can get it finished and published in the next two weeks so that I can start in on the Mama and Papa Dupain finding out their daughter is a superhero fic.**

 **And also them collecting on that bet they made five years ago.**


End file.
